Glass ceiling

Is there really one? Is there a maximum where a woman, a Malaysian woman can climb up the corporate Malaysia ladder? Are there jobs that are 'meant' only for men?

We are in an era where most companies, local or multinationals, voluntarily or if probed, would claim inclusiveness and being pro diversity. Whether they are true in practice, there are differing views. I think we can make our own conclusions on this. Actions speak louder than words.

What have I seen? My observation tells me that in considering a candidate for most jobs, competency, experience, attitude and potential are the primary considerations. I have not witnessed or heard a consideration being made for the candidate's gender that could influence the four aspects mentioned. 

However, there are jobs due to its nature (dangerous, far or in my case, where there are no commercial establishments *read malls*) tends to appeal less to women. There are jobs, like in some areas of sales where most interactions are known to be with men and therefore, a man who can hang out and have a cup of 'teh tarik' with the group would be better suited.

A friend once told me that in consulting companies, there are usually equal interest from both genders at the entry level but after a few years, the women tend to leave as the 'nomadic' lifestyle no longer fits their biological plans (the clock is real alright!) Hence, one would find most middle management positions in this business being held by men.

So what does this means to us women? I believe there is generally no limit to how high a Malaysian woman can climb the corporate ladder here. We see competent women CEOs around us managing big important organizations as proof it isn't impossible. And for the jobs we don't get, well they are not suited to our needs too and as long as we feel it is a choice we make, it seems perfectly ok to me.

Anyway, the best way to gain the most satisfaction is to put aside titles and positions, but to make sure you enjoy the journey.


Picture courtesy of Google Images

Choosing your battles

When you work for someone or some'body', be it a private owner or institutional shareholders i.e. when you work for a company, you are almost always dependent on others in some aspects of your job. Be it acceptance of your ideas, views, perspective or just simply, to get the other half of a job done and complete.

And there are days you will feel like:

a. pulling your hair

b. pulling the other person's hair

c. just leaving (and go shopping)

d. all of the above

Because, there are days when you feel people don't get you or what you're trying to make them see. When things just don't go your way.

And you feel like you want to charge head on and get your point across there and then. All fired up. Not just that, you want to insist on having things your way. 

But here is a thought. When I was young-er (ehem!), someone wise told me to learn to choose my battles. Over the years, I think the better term would be to learn to 'choose when to fight your battles'. As important as the when, is also the 'how'. 

Pause and think it over or perhaps bring it up at a different time. Sometimes, after giving it some thought, you will find other people's perspectives are not wrong too although it could have been opposite of yours..

Don't get me wrong, being open and transparent is good. Not accepting things as it is and pushing relentlessly for things to get through are admirable, sought after qualities in an employee *read extra points when you emphasize these qualities in an interview*. 

But there are many ways to resolve a conflict or to influence your views unto others. Best not 'charge ahead' all the time. Trust me, the reputation you gain will be the opposite of the 'sought after' attitude above.

On the other hand, as a boss I get impatient when there is too much 'redha-ness' i.e. acceptance for the way things are just because they are. Remember the familiar phrase of, "Ahhh…but it has always been that way". Don't go there (if you want to gain points in my interviews!)

Also, if you are part of a decision committee. State your views (all sides of it) and weigh the pros and cons during discussion but when a decision is made, honor the team spirit and support the decision. If you can't deal with this expectation, then you need to think about a career as your own boss. Then, it's different.

Confused yet? Perhaps you are..because it is situational. There is no template or framework of ways to react. It requires judgment of a situation and some understanding of the personality whom you are dealing with. I guess the trick is to balance and assess the best approach for handling every situation. There's also the saying, don't win battles but lose the war..

Feel like pulling your hair yet?

Picture courtesy of Google Images

Having fun

What a day. Started the morning performing a Grease musical. Yeah you read that right. Performing. As in singing and dancing. In a roomful of 200 people.

But I ain't quitting my day job for Broadway...not yet (p/s: talent agencies can contact me directly please :/)

Thereafter, it's serious business of course with our partners...but on occasions such as this we try to make sure we have fun too. Life is short, why be so serious :)

Eat your heart out Olivia!

Bosses do get bullied I tell ya....

When you can't find them, go where the food is...tsk tsk

At least someone got my opening speech

I can even get beauty tips from this bunch

Ok we actually mean business too!! 

Rhetoric

Good leader for good people. Most people want a good leader to lead them, most leaders want to lead good people. So which comes first? I don't know. This is not what I will elaborate on in this post but a good leader is certainly made up of many qualities. 

Effective leadership comes in many styles but there are common values we observe of inspiring ones and as someone I know, who is a reputable CEO puts it, one of them is;  

rhetoric

defined as:

1. the ability to use language effectively

2. the art of making persuasive speeches

3. the art of influencing the thought and conduct of an audience

4. the undue use of exaggeration or display

And looking around, I agree. When you are leading a team, your task is to deliver an outcome through a combination of individual acts, and to get everyone on board, you have to influence, clarify and sometimes even dramatize.

Use of analogies are also powerful. I 'grew up' in my career around a boss who was particularly good at this. Whilst I get the message much much more easily, I am also entertained by the humorous side of it.

Then you say, well not everyone can be a good speaker, communicator, whatever. Unfortunately, I find very few leadership roles where one can be 'minimumly' effective without the ability to be rhetorical. Maybe in specific task-based roles aka 'mandur' but in most cases, you will have to be able to communicate more than just 'do this, do that' to influence and motivate. 

The good news is, this is a skill that can be developed. Nobody is born with it.

"I have a dream"

Picture credits to kids.nationalgeographic.com

Work for the cause, not the boss

If you had to read the title twice, it's ok. This is something I too only figured out upon several observations and reflections throughout my journey.

Unlike entrepreneurs, employees like most of us seldom have the luxury of working on our true passion (or passions if you're restless like me). But, even in the concrete jungle and between the maze of cubicles, there are causes we can find our belief in.

Be it a cause to provide the best customer service

Or a cause to create the best work place

Notice a cause is never a small thing. Yes, not all of us have 'big important' tasks you may say, but it's not about how 'big' your title is or having your name plate on the door.. Everything we do in an organization is part of a bigger cause (well most of it, unless you are mafia - then again, even they can justify a cause). You just have to know what it is.

So, if you can, find one that you believe in. Because it makes getting up, going through 2 hour traffic jams 5 days a week, and just being in the rat race worth the while. 

But never work only for the boss. For many reasons. 

When you work for a cause, you will naturally have a principle. And that ensures your actions and decisions are consistent. When everything you do is centered around an individual, your actions will be inconsistent (and I say 'will' not 'may' as I have seen this too many times), because you are focused on pleasing the individual. 

And inconsistency is a bad habit that leads to poor leadership. There's a Malay word for this, 'lalang' i.e. tall weeds that sway in the direction of wherever the wind is blowing. Don't get me wrong..decisions can be changed, but for logical reasons.

And most important, as long as the boss is earning a monthly salary like you, who the boss is can change. And in situations, when there is a 'hostile' takeover (which happens!), your obvious allegiance to an individual and not your principles will not help you in the eyes of the new person. 

Then, there are bosses who expect loyalty above all else. And disagreeing to them equals disloyalty. That's unfortunate, more so for the boss because then all he / she will have around them are 'yes' men (or ladies), people who only think like them and that's a recipe for disaster..

Picture courtesy of Google Images

My preference as a boss? Loyalty is hoped, but not above all else. Most important is to align on the cause. There is nothing wrong to disagree or debate about the many options to achieve it.

So, when you're stuck in that traffic tomorrow, ask yourself this for a moment:

What's my cause or am I a lalang?

Parit (not the drain)

I was born in Ipoh but neither the city nor Perak is my home town so I had very few reasons to travel to Perak. It was either a pass by to Penang or Lumut or Pangkor and sometimes Tg Malim for Yik Mun pau (steamed buns filled with delicious goodness like chicken and sweet coconut cream)

However in February last year fate had it that Perak and I would be so closely acquainted. We accepted admission for one half of my twin sons to attend MRSM Parit (IGCSE College). Parit is about a 2.5 hours drive from KL (at speed limit) but with my driving, at the non approval of my dear speed-compliant husband, we are always there much sooner (I won't say how much sooner just in case the police are reading this). Via the north bound PLUS highway you would exit Gopeng and from there, another 30 minutes on trunk roads to the small town of Parit. You could choose to pass through Bandar Seri Iskandar which is fast developing as there are education institutions like Petronas Technology University and a branch of UITM. 

Parit is a small town. One traffic light. One petrol station. A mini clock tower at its center and a few rows of shophouses, mainly moms and pops selling your everyday groceries. It's a town that feels like everybody knows everyone. So on weekends we visit, which is every other weekend *read often* we are almost desperate to find new spots to explore around Perak.

So far, we have explored Ipoh, Kuala Kangsar and gone as far as Penang during these weekends. But today particularly, we decided to stay around Parit and here's the story..

There are too few places to eat and so we played it safe and drove to Seri Iskandar for the familiar taste of Chicken Rice Shop (new outlet at the new Billion Mall). Thereafter, we decided to rent a room at the rest house back in Parit called Rumah Rehat Cempaka Sari. It is located by the wide, murky and very calm Sg Perak.

The room is basic. Bed is basic. TV is basic. Everything is basic but clean. I can't complain, it is RM70 per night (no day rates and check-in is fast). I can't say it is as clean outside. There is an indoor event hall and an outdoor event area facing the river. There are a few gazebos lined by the river but the path leading to them and the gazebo itself looks unkempt. You could see litters of food leftovers and plastic bags around. Cracked and broken concrete benches. Trash bins laying flat on the ground. Wild bushes and trees surrounding walkways. 

Typical Malaysia I must say. I am Malaysian so I think I have the right to criticize my country. We always make elaborate starts but never the same drive to see it through to the finish. The term 'hangat hangat tahi ayam' comes to mind. Maintenance is a concept that seems hard to grasp or never thought of when we begin a project. I am generalizing but this is so common I'm sure most of you agree.

Here are some pictures of the best scenes I could get. Deliberately did not take the ugly ones. Not worth the time.

Shutting down

So I get asked this question a lot. "How do you manage everything?"

It may be disappointing to those expecting that I have the formula all worked out in a list I post on my fridge and look at everyday, but no..there is no formula, there is no right way

It's a combination of many things that I hope this blog, in every topic I write about will enlighten you. 

It's a concoction of choices I make as I live my life everyday. Many many wrong choices but the few right ones make it all worthwhile. I guess the most important is self awareness.. being aware and acknowledging the mistakes you made and learning from it, the things that went right and being grateful for them. But this requires one to pause, think and do some reflection of our life constantly (best time is after prayers I tell ya, so you immediately ask for forgiveness too. 2 in 1!)

I must say I only became more conscious of the importance to 'shut down' after going through a life changing moment that changed my perspective about jobs and employers.. (I'll blog about that some other time). Some also refer shutting down to 'being present' wholly and not just physically. This balance, to totally enjoy after work hours and weekends has now become very important to me and I am bothered when I can't have it (though I admit I still can do better to balance between 'me' time and everything else during these leisure hours..those celebrity and personal shopper IGs are hard to ignore!) 

some of whom and what I shut down for 

I still haven't perfected 'shutting down'. Especially when, as I walk into my house, I get an email that seems to have had 200 discussion trails and 80 people in the list (ok I am exaggerating but you get the point). Those things bother me. Stop discussing it and start doing something about it already will you!! In those situations, I would still be glued to my email at home until the matter is resolved completely, ignoring the people and everything around me. Whilst I am grateful for understanding husband, children and family, I know I should not take it for granted.

Ok time stop blogging and be a good wife now.... (I know my husband reads this) 

Have a good weekend folks!

Lady Boss

It's annoying to be called Lady Boss. I admit. There are few that do call me that and I'm pretty sure they do not come with bad intentions, but still, very annoying. I can almost feel my eyebrow twitch when I hear it.

I spent some time thinking about this and wondered why two simple words can be so irritating.

As a woman and as a boss, one thing I feel we are constantly managing is the prejudice that has always been there ever since I walked into a company as an employee. 

That women bosses are:

bossy

emotional (as if PMS is the root cause of all our problems..)

moody

micro-managers

basically....your living nightmare.

Picture courtesy of Google Images

Concious of this prejudice, we try to (well at least I do) not be the kind of boss that can be generalized into those categories..and I guess when I get called that, it reminds me of this prejudice.

Heck, some days I can be all of that but I have seen men bosses who are all of that too but somehow they are not subjected to the same prejudice. We are human, we have issues that some days makes us bossy, emotional and moody (I have thought of hanging a skull at my door for those days - I think my staff would appreciate that)....

But they're not because I was born a woman! (sometimes they're caused by men but that deserves another posting altogether...yes I see you ladies nodding there)

As for micro managing, I believe it really is about timing. At different points of your task as a leader you apply different levels of management. In situations where you need to drive change and transformation, you may be pressing down the throttle harder looking through your microscopic lens but as things are headed in the right path, you begin to take your foot off the paddle and look over panoramic lens. It just depends on where you are in that journey.

Although I admit knowing of bosses who are women AND who seem to be living up to that prejudice everyday. To her staff, good luck. To the men dealing with her, just compliment her dress once in awhile ya (whatever you do, DO NOT ask if she is pregnant!)

Now you have a degree..so what?

So, I haven't written for awhile (4 days to be exact). After the holiday intervals from December through January, things are now really moving at work. The current festive period is also a time of a lot of after hours Lou Sang celebrations. Hence, late nights. Whilst the waistline is suffering, these occasions are a good time to meet old acquaintances and meet new people. In my line of duty, this is important.

I'm in sales and marketing. Have been for at least two thirds of my career. And how did I end up here? What choices (or missteps..) I made along the way and how can you make your choices too?

Let's rewind a few (ok ok...many) years back..

Apparently, when I was asked the classic high school year book question of what is your ambition, I said Engineer. I don't recall why or if I had too much 'air rakyat' (classic boarding school drink of sugared water and colouring) to drink that day but yeah, it says 'Engineer' in my yearbook (don't mind the hair if you ever see that picture...the perm WAS in I tell ya..)

I was also one of the lucky few who was offered many options of college education. My shortlist was a medical degree in UM or an Engineering degree and the opportunity to study overseas. Guess which I chose.. Of course not Engineering, but the opportunity to live overseas. Haha. (blame the teenage hormones)

And that was how it was. I must say very few things about Engineering interest me (except the very good looking professor in Dynamics class). So fast forward, I finished it because I just didn't want to fail all the people who were always praying for the best for me (ok ok and also to avoid my scholarship giver from breathing down my neck..)

When it was time to start facing the real world and earning my own moolah, I was also then fortunate to be given the opportunity to choose which department I wanted to start with. Simple answer.."anywhere but the exchange" (yes those old telecom buildings that don't seem to have windows). It was not really about the place or people but I realised by then, Engineering and me was never meant to be..

So I started my career in sales although the technical part of sales. That gave me the opportunity to use what I have formally been educated in as well as a completely new area of sales and marketing.This is what I conclude. Starting your career in sales department has a lot of advantage. It is the fastest place to learn about the market, the business, the process and people in the company. Being in the frontline forces you to understand the customer and most times, turn back and look inside every nook and corner of the company, especially when you're trying to solve a problem. I believe no one in any other department would get that chance to do so.

Don't get me wrong, sales is tough. But when you're young and starting out *read eager and naive*, you're forgiven for many things so best face your challenges early on. What doesn't kill you does make you stronger!

So far so good

Day 5

Oxy vs Fresh

So far so good. No allergic reactions.

And I smell like rose 

Turkey tales [Part 1]

No it's not November yet. But since it's a Friday, I thought I'd keep it light and write about my travel to Istanbul.

It all started with the Enrich promotion and as I looked at the list of countries on offer, Istanbul caught my eye. Of course after having watched the movie Istanbul Aku Datang, the city intrigued me (yeah I am cliche like that…at times)

The irony was we ended up paying almost full price for the tickets as I had to reschedule the trip due to work commitments (I should write about this 'sacrificial' work-moments one day)

But we finally went and I think the timing was actually perfect. It was the period of Eid Adha celebrations and the weather was cool at an average of 15C. And it also coincided with my wedding anniversary, so it was a bonus (for my husband) because my present came duty-free…. (see…sometimes you gain something better in return for some sacrifice)

beautiful Bosphorus

Like all other trips I like to plan my own itinerary. As usual, I did research (a lot of) on how to plan my days there, local tips, where to eat..all you can think of, including which tourist traps to avoid.

And for the first time I tried using AirBnb to book my accommodation. I super love the experience and with careful research (I did say 'a lot' didn't I), I found this perfect apartment. I was somewhat nervous and hoped that the internet pictures didn't fool me (remembering the scene where Lisa had to drag her bag up the stairs). I can't possibly do that with how much luggage I had (I am no light packer. I need to have my shoes for sightseeing, shoes for dinner and you know...shoes in case I 'feel' like jogging)

the view from the apartment - Sultanahmet where Aya Sofia is

floor to ceiling glass windows

where I even cooked 'sambal sardin'

I am never doing mainstream hotel again wherever I can find a good place with Airbnb. And looking at their latest listings, I might rent a tree house next!

Are you going or leaving..?

Taken today as I attended a funeral at the Bukit Kiara cemetery (Al Fatihah). No I am not writing about death or the after life but there is some relevance..of which I'll come back to.

Three years ago I was at a cross roads, of whether I should stay at a company I've worked for 14 years or make a move. It was not an easy decision. There were so many things to consider. Even when I did my usual list of upsides and downsides in my head, I had to put weightage on each item! Naturally, I spoke to many for their advice. 

And one of them asked me…"Are you going or are you leaving?"

I paused. 

See, this guy is your typical Cambridge graduate with a high flying international career and excellent track record. Smart and intelligent. I am always amazed at how his mind works but his slightly nerdish ways never made me feel uncomfortable with the level of intelligence he possessed. He is a cool friend to have (calm down, it's not Stephen Hawking). I thought, ok this was maybe a high IQ question I don't get. 

So I asked, what do you mean am I going or leaving??

And this was the explanation.

Look at the reasons of making the move. Are they because of the things you want to achieve and acquire from the new place (which means you're GOING) or are they because they are driven by things/situations/people in your existing place (which means you're LEAVING). 

Bam! One simple question that simplified the list in my head (which by then had grown to be a cobweb of decision tree…)

If you're deciding whether you should make a move, a better reason to do it is because you're going and not because you're leaving. 

And as I looked at the rows and rows of reserved cemetery space today, I remembered my friend and his question. I believe it also applies to making our everyday choices on how we live our lives..

Are we living as if we're going or leaving…?

Gen Y for the Gen X

I believe I am a borderline Gen X, according to Wiki by the year I was born and according to traits I read about Gen X-ers. We are gorgeous, lovable and simply fabulous. No. Ok I lied. That is what my mirror tells me everyday :P

Anyway, a big part of the team I work with for the past 5 to 6 years have been Gen Ys. And there have been a lot of discussions in HR and Management communities in recent years on managing Gen Ys for Gen X *read old* bosses like yours truly. 

But, my best insights come from actually opening myself to engage with them and observe their perspective on things.

And all that talk about us being different, I must say is mostly true. But the point is, to embrace the differences and capitalize on understanding and using these traits to motivate them.

Things like they have to believe in the cause of doing anything so explain the context of your strategy or assignment to them. The why and not just the what. 

They are opinionated so use them when you need honest feedback. 

They like visibility and recognition so give them praise, celebrate their wins and get them involved. 

They appreciate regular feedback, so point out clearly when they need to improve.

They're respect must be earned and doesn't come from authority or positions, so stay on your toes boss!

They 'work to live' not 'live to work' so respect their need for work life balance, as long as they are delivering. You'll get the best out of them.

And...this is in no way related to maturity. Over the years I have found maturity is not necessarily a factor of age but more a function of what gets thrown to you in life but that's a topic best left for another day.

Do good looks matter..?

Ok here's an almost controversial one. I am sure this has crossed your mind at some point or you have experienced moments that make you wonder..

Do good looks matter to get ahead?

This post would not be applicable for those in the beauty line, creative arts or if your job involves insuring any parts of your body. It's a question for the 9-5 employee in most industries working our way up the 'food' chain.

Here are my observations:

• It doesn't matter but helps, provided there is substance
• Looking neat and groomed does matter. It's psychological and appeals to the reasoning capability of the human mind. If you made an effort to 'take care' of yourself, it most probably will reflect how you treat tasks given to you or for a customer, the business they give you
• If it seems to be the ONLY thing that matters, you probably need to reconsider if you're in the right place

And if you have it but misuse it, trust me, you will make no one proud except maybe yourself.

Let me know what you think.

I am an Oxy girl

In case you're wondering, no this is not an advertisement. I've gone through different skin phases in my life (thanks to girl hormones). There were times when I could use almost any skincare or none and it had little effect on me.

But there were times and the most recent was 4 years ago when nothing seemed to work. I tried almost every brand you could think of including the convincingly advertised and may I add, expensive SKII. Best for Asian skin. I'm Asian so it must work. What a sucker for advertising I was (ok ok..unashamedly still am!)

Unfortunately or fortunately for me, it didn't work and my skin took a turn for the worst. Red faced and pimples that looked like they were about to burst.

So....maybe I'm not Asian...haha (I checked with my mom again to be sure I'm not pan-asian or something!)

One fine day (and probably because I kept complaining), my eldest son said - referring to the display shelf at the pharmacy, "Ma, why don't you try Oxy. It says that it is suitable for acne-prone skin" (sigh..sucker for advertising inherited apparently)

But I did and it worked. Amaze-balls. So I've been a user since. It was RM9.90 per tube and now RM12.90. I use this fact to convince my husband how lucky he is that I'm 'low maintenance' in-this-department (especially when I'm justifying a bag purchase!)

Being the soul that I am though, I am restless with routine. Occasionally, I would try new brands and I end up going back to good ol trusted Oxy. Today was one of those days so here goes. I'll let you know.....

Wicked weekend

us 2 years ago

a very wicked weekend in Singapore

fast forward now

2 brand new husbands (plus 5 extra kids!)

1 same husband, 14 years anniversary (yayy!)

1 hijab hijrah

….and some kgs (haha!)

love you girls!

"Your career is a marathon…"

It is February! How time flies these days.. We've had a few long weekends since the end of 2013. While it's a bane on workplace productivity, it provides a good break from the 9-5 Monday to Friday routine and….my weekends are precious

They are family time. Time to create memories and to just do things together (and of course time for some self pampering too. DND!)

favorite family activity. oh we love our meat

baking is therapy

special birthdays. happy sweet 70 mak!

and sometimes, just being there to see the kids have fun

So work hard, play hard.

My journey in the corporate world so far, is a string of choices. There are those who asks, did you plan and know where you want to be in 5 years, in 10 years? You know, like that annoying interview question where they go, 'soooo….tell me..where do you think you will be in 10 years?' and if you don't sound at all ambitious and wanting to conquer the world, you're assumed as not.

No, I didn't know. But I worked real hard (and smart..we'll talk about this later. Working hard smartly) at each phase and was then always offered the opportunity to take on bigger and bigger roles, and move up, and at each turn, i made a choice to take it on...and here I am today, after almost 18 years.

Recently, I was offered such an opportunity again. And while out of habit, I never seem to turn them down..this time, I made a different choice. 

Someone wise told me this, "Your career is a marathon. You set the pace". And he is right. It's not a sprint, it's not someone else's journey. It's mine and I can set the pace, of course with the grant of the Almighty.

I know people who have made their choices, to completely move out from the corporate world, to refuse a promotion, to become teachers even though they could be this high flying auditor in the Big 3 or a top notch lawyer in Fortune 500 multinationals…so they can have more time for family, time for kids. I respect those choices and they tell me they have no regrets.

I also know people who were faced with situations where they didn't have a choice. Lost their jobs, ill family members they need to care for etc. But the happier ones seem to be those that make a positive choice of how they deal with the situation.

At the end it's our choice. What's yours?