Reinventing oneself

This is an entry I hope will further inspire my readers and anyone who is thinking of making a change.

Three years ago I made a decision to move on after 14 years in a company. I have shared how difficult it was to make the decision, but now I want to talk about what happened after that.

Whilst I was going into a similar industry, mobile business was something I never did seriously before, especially when it is core business. I knew little else beyond the mobile phone I had in my hands of which I wasn't even paying for. I just knew it worked when I needed it to.

Stepping into my new place, I had a lot to learn and extra effort to make, for my fresh perspective to be heard (at least I thought they were), to speak with credibility on a business I have limited experience in, amongst the many experts who have slept, ate and breathed mobile most of their working life. And by experts here, I don't mean only locally, they were also global multi market experts.

There were moments I got inspired. There were moments I got frustrated. Sometimes, I was scared. But I was focused on learning, leveraging all my past experience and market understanding into this new area and contribute. Then I was slowly given more projects within the mobile business, not just postpaid but also partnerships involving prepaid business. I gained the trust of a boss who saw the potential in me.

Long story short, here I am today, presenting in a room full of media and press representatives on our latest mobile offering. I am also now responsible for the product development, management and marketing of mobile business in the Enterprise segment which has an annual turnover of more than RM1billion. As cliche as it may sound, I feel this is an accomplishment for myself. I still have plenty to learn as this industry hardly stops evolving thanks to our friendly competitors but I believe the challenges ahead just promises more excitement!

So to you out there contemplating a change, don't be afraid. Reinvent yourself. The worst that could happen is you discover yourself and move on. 

Good luck!

Reliable is not boring

August marks my 17 years as an employee. Where I started my career, there were many who worked their whole life in the company and at that time, knowing of anyone who has worked 20 or 30 years made me go wow..that's a long time. But here I am now, 3 more years into my own 20 year mark :/

I didn't find the transition from school was hard. School was fun but I believe school always feels more fun after you leave it :P

Anyway, back to the topic today. Throughout my career I have probably had around 12 bosses (must have forgotten a few too when they really didn't make an impression..haha. we'll talk about bad bosses next time. I'm sure we've all had one). I want to talk about what I found common including for me as a leader today.

All bosses want reliable employees. By reliable I mean someone I can trust to deliver any task required, in good quality and on time. Someone who may not know 100% of everything but will ask and manage my expectations on timelines.

Opposite to this is someone whom cannot be trusted with deadlines. That I have to keep following up with and asking what is progress. Worst, someone who just keeps his or her head down until the work is overdue and come up with a million excuses why it wasn't done.

So you see, while being super intelligent, competent, innovative, proactive, high energy, diligent bla bla are qualities all bosses like to see, let's not forget the basic of just being plain old reliable. It creates trust and that believe me, is important to be happy at work. Trust is fundamental to empowerment and empowerment means freedom. Freedom means happiness.

So what's your reliability rating?

Confetti and such

You may say I've been on a blogging sabbatical. I know I know, there are those who tell me I have to be consistent to capture followers. That is undeniably very true. Some days I get carried away with the routine of everyday that I forgot how important this is to my future dream. The dream of early retirement and running my own business. What has it got to do with blogging you ask? Apparently, famous people are more successful in business....so I have a few more years to get famous!

I popped confetti in the air today. Me along with about 100 of our business partners. It was fun. Like those shower type fireworks, but of course a lot more tame. By business partners I don't mean the kind whom you co-invest in business with. Business partners here are business owners who work together with us to take our products to market, reach our customers and for many, are the face of our brand. The people who make or break us.

Whether you're working for a company or managing your own business where you depend on others to 'sell' your services, this post is relevant to you. I find this relationship is most fragile in most business. To reach that win win situation, a term so freely used actually takes a lot of hard work and consistency. Trust need to be built and honoured. Like all relationships, it can get personal as at the end of the day we are dealing with people. Loyalty is hard to gain but easy to lose.

And as in life, you cannot please everybody. Nevertheless, the common values (sometimes uncommon!) holds...sincerity, humility and willingness to listen. Ultimately of course, actions speak louder than words. Hence, promises need to be delivered. By both sides.

Choose the right partners but don't forget to also be the right one! Good night.

People Management

Part 1. Simply because I think I will write about this topic again in future. Never short of experiences to write about when it comes to this.

There are a lot of books out there on leadership and specifically on managing people. The ones I have read almost always talks about the same things, the same tips. I can't remember when I stopped buying them. Nowadays, I think the Harvard Business Review keeps me updated enough on the new adaptations (I say adaptation because people management principles don't change, we just need to flexibly adapt to the generation and lifestyle we live in), latest research and management fads. And more so since over the years of being a people manager, nothing is like truly experiencing it on the job, everyday. Obvious, you could say.

I realized managing people has many similarities with managing your own children. Except in this case you have many (many many) more and that they're all adults who have been nurtured differently, come from different environments, have different perspectives on life and other people in general. Nevertheless, there is one dilemma about people management I find consistent with raising my own children. When do you be all supportive, encouraging, motivating and when do you be firm, demanding i.e. tough without necessarily meaning you 'love' them any less?

It's situational. 

There are times when a little bit of unreasonable-ness is needed to drive change. Else, everything stays status quo because it is the path of least resistance. 

There are times when you are extra supportive because you feel guilt that you have somewhat 'neglected' that particular area and your team is obviously trying hard.

There are times you need to be more motivating and understanding, not because you want to be popular and be liked but because we are all humans, and we need that encouragement occasionally.

..and there are times when toughness and 'guru besar' discipline is just needed. period.

Nevertheless, a key condition to situational leadership is professionalism. It's not personal and should not be.

Also, the further we climb up the ladder, expect that you will 'receive' TLC and 'tough'ness in a whole different light (darkness sometimes :P) and in different form than before. But that is fair, as demands and expectations of you are also higher.

Agree to disagree with me?

Negotiating your salary

So I haven't written in ages and in this constantly online world, 'ages' can feel much longer than calendar dates. I haven't written not because I stopped believing in this cause but I just did not take the time to sit and write.

But now I have many things to write about. Because I've been busy and experienced new situations. A few days back I attended a Women Leadership Conference and that was inspiring. To listen to stories of international level achievements, of women like Datuk Dr Mazlan who deals on a daily basis with Russia and NASA and Tan Sri Datuk Dr Rafiah. What is more interesting is they each have their own story to tell which makes them seem human...like you and me. So yes, we can!

I have also finally started reading Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In. Admittedly, it didn't quite take my fancy before, I was afraid that it would be too cliche (I hope that's not what people feel about my blog) but I think curiosity took the better of me. And there is a chapter on Negotiating your Salary. I haven't read it but it inspired me to write my own take on this topic.

There seems to be a general perception and even research I read before that women are more afraid than men to ask for what we deserve. And because of this, I have read many articles urging women to be more assertive in this area.

My belief is that this is not and cannot be a general rule. There are situations when it is best that you leave the 'valuing' of your skills and capabilities to the boss. As long as you know he or she is not discriminative in any way and especially if you believe in achieving greater things ahead with the new project or role you're undertaking. I believe it leads to a more positive starting point. The last thing you want is to 'win' the negotiation but with resentment, pushed beyond your capabilities just because the boss thinks you should then take on more.

However, if you do feel undervalued, address it. Do it professionally. I recommend listing down your experience and past achievements and how it makes your potential, how you would use them to add value to the current or future task at hand. Don't complain or whine and do not compare with someone else's salary even if you peeked through Salmah's salary slip the other day :/

Choose a good time which means not Monday mornings, not before a big meeting or right after a difficult meeting. I think Friday is a good day, for me it would be Friday mornings (ok now you know but if you're from my team I'll be off next Friday :P). Ideally, set a proper appointment and not barge in. You want to be able to say everything you need to.

And if it is a new job, email is best. The same guidelines would apply on the content. Ok now good luck!

Spaghetti Carbonara

Since it's the weekend I thought I'd write about something different.

I enjoy good food. I am the kind that will not hesitate to try places where people recommend there's good food, no matter how far. I will plan for it and eventually try.

But I don't just love looking for good food. I also love making them.

Cooking and baking (besides shopping of course) is therapeutic for me. 

Unfortunately, as ChairWoman, I only get to do this on weekends. But that's ok. Weekdays I get good food from mom whose an even better cook! (Ya ya I saw your eyes go green with envy..)

And this is amongst my favorite dish to make simply because my boys love it so much and...it's pretty easy to whip.

I learned this recipe sometime ago watching a TV program hosted by Chef Nik 

Yes the cute one (..but of course. Important motivation. Haha)

If I recall, his father is Italian and this is his Dad's recipe.

This picture could be better but my children were already pestering me to serve. No time for professional photography. That's how good it is! LOL.

Ingredients:

1/3 Pasta of the normal pack (best with Fettucine, Spaghetti or Penne)

Beef bacon (ones with some fat on the side)

Quarter bulb of a large yellow onion

A teaspoon of crushed garlic

1 bay leaf

Cooking Cream

(depends how much gravy and creamy you want it to be but I use about 500 ml)

3 tablespoons grated Parmesan

1 egg yolk

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

Steps:

1. Boil pasta with a bit of salted butter. El dente. Drain. You don't want mushy pasta in cream sauce (ugh!)

2. Put olive oil in a pan. Put in bay leaf and beef bacon. Saute till brown and slightly crisp at the edges. Add yellow onion till soft.

3. Add garlic. Stir till fragrant

4. Add cream. Medium fire and let simmer

5. Add salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste

6. Add pasta and mix

7. Now here's the difficult part. Add lightly beaten egg yolk and stir quickly over slow fire (avoid the sauce from curdling). Take pan off fire and serve

Absolute awesome and easy recipe.

Don't believe me? Ask this boy.

Setting Expectations

I am an Engineer by education. And whilst I have stated in one of my earlier posts that I did not enjoy the subject much, in many ways it has shaped my thinking. More left brain. More structured. 'Square' as a few who knows me inside out would describe.

My grandma on my graduation (me so nerdy!)

We were cool from back then :P

But the non interest in engineering as a subject has also seeded my passion for marketing. The right brain stuff. Not the extreme right but enough to appreciate the right brain thinking and ideas. And a related area that interests me in particular is sociology, the understanding of human behaviour. Malcolm Gladwell's books like Blink, Outliers and his latest David & Goliath are my favourites. It helps me with life in general, understanding my children better, understanding the people I work with. It helps me work on improving my leadership.

And I am fortunate to observe lately that leadership is not just about setting strategies and directions. It is more and one underestimated but very important aspect is setting clear expectations.

Expectations about not just deliverables but mindset, values and behaviour as an individual (especially if you are managers yourselves because what you do and what you say shapes others' mindset!), expectations how people should work together and the list goes on. 

Sometimes we take that for granted. Sometimes we assume people should know. But I have seen almost always, leaders achieve better outcomes when expectations are made clear..and consistent. It's time tested. This video is proof of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WUxb8YB88o

Thinking Big

Ok I'm on a roll but this will be short and easy.

Think Big! I think at times we need this reminder. It's so easy to get sucked into daily routines, issues, limitations and fire fighting in your job that you forget..to think big.

And we may think it's hard to think big if we only know so much. But, you'd be surprised. 

Mind you, thinking big is not the same as a big idea.

But a friend shared this with me about big ideas. Someone said, to test whether an idea is big enough, tell it to someone else. And if the answer is 'Are you out of your mind?'..that's a sure sign it's big (or cuckoo) enough :P

So, this is a public service announcement. The next task you get, think big and see what you come out with.


Picture courtesy of Google Images

What have we done for our country lately?

So I had 'fans' who noticed I haven't written in days..more than 10 days to be exact. Truth is  I have been 'busy inspired' (I'll tell you what that means) but also uninspired to write. Takde mood lah! as a typical Malaysian would say. Anyways, 'busy inspired' is a term I coined for myself when work is overwhelming but in an interesting, inspiring way that it gets me so preoccupied, I pretty much don't do any philosophical observations about anything. No reflections, no stories so no writing. But I am back today!  

It's also been a busy week of reading and watching more news, speculations, theories and stumbling upon social 'pop up aviation experts'. Admittedly, some of the comments I read from so-called 'Malaysians' and neighbors alike made me feel angry (pissed off is more like it) and even disgusted.

I had an interesting discussion with a bunch of people from diverse career backgrounds and nationalities earlier this week. There seems to be a common observation that Malaysians have become a bunch of whiners and complainers. We are unhappy over everything and do not talk enough of the good things. Now, some of you will relate this to politics but put that aside for now, this is beyond politics. Try and do a bit of 'social listening' *read trolling through social media like FB, Twitter* and I think you would agree.

Then someone said that he comes from a country relatively under developed than Malaysia and he asked, when did you guys gain independence? Someone in the group said 1957 (thank God no one got it wrong!). The guy then said, well my country gained independence in the 1950s too and if you guys try to compare where Malaysia is with countries who gained independence about the same time are today, you should be proud of what Malaysia has achieved, how good your life is and how much opportunities your children get.

I didn't do my comparison, intentionally so, because deep inside I want to believe he is right. Because I am proud and whilst I may not be a seasoned traveller like Ian Wright, I too have seen enough places to be proud of where I call home. 

Nationalism is second to religion. If we don't have it, why call ourself a citizen of the country. Look at Japan and how, even when not threatened, wherever they are, they rally behind nationalism. Imagine if you try and threaten them.. But some of us, when the foreign media mocks us, without checking facts or knowing what goes on, we join them in the mockery! Just because it is an opportunity to capitalize on a weak moment. Sad.

It's not that I believe challenging ourselves and others isn't good. I believe in that. I believe we should always challenge the status quo so we don't get complacent. What is bad is bad, what is wrong is wrong but we can do this constructively. And drive that change where you can (even behind keyboards, effectively). But I also believe when something is good, it's got to be acknowledged. This is true in business too.

So, before we utter our next complaint let's ask ourselves. What have we done for our country lately?

Picture courtesy of Google Images

My prayers for MH 370, please Allah show us the answer...

War strategies and business

So I finally watched 300: Rise of Empire. The first 300 movie was very good so when I heard of the new release I wanted to make sure I caught it. No, not for the Greeks in tight underwear..well, not just ;)

I find war tactics and strategies very interesting, particularly the ones that seem so unexpectable. Ok my idea of this topic may not be original if you've heard of or read Tsun Zu's Art of War but this is my take on it. Actually, I have not read the book. Books with obvious titles don't interest me. Yeah yeah I do judge a book by its cover so judge me :P 

Not only from movies but through many conversations I've had with my father, grandfather, uncles and in laws who have been in the line of duty I've heard many stories, tactics and tricks being used in war and battles. Whilst I am impressed by the stories, what amazes me more is what it took to come up with them and this, I'd like to relate to business..

An effective strategy is prolly half in the execution and half in the planning. And planning effectively means a few things and in the case of this movie, it means knowing your opponents and in business, your competition. How big the fleet, how strong the ships, where is its weakest point, who is the general and what is his weakest point (and Themistocles the general's weakest point I knew from the part the movie got slightly cut, you know what I mean). These are just to name a few.

The second important part of planning is knowing your environment and in business context, knowing your market. In this movie, at least two battle strategies made effective use of the environment, the battle at the rocky valleys and the bay. Both 'terrains' naturally trapped the opponents.

Another lesson learnt from 300 and this applies especially to men (I of course pointed it out to my husband), don't ever piss off a woman. The saying 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' must have been said for a reason! 

Prayers

Saddened to hear the news of missing MH370. Someone's husband, wife, parent, child and lover was on board and it's unimaginable what they must be going through.

Let's pray for their safety and stop spreading information for unofficial sources. Social media is a powerful multiplier, let's use it wisely.

What about MBAs

I sometimes get this question. Is an MBA still valued by employers? Will it give any edge to my career? Will I get more salary or faster promotion with an MBA?

Well...yes and no.

Yes, if you think of acquiring an MBA for the actual management knowledge as your purpose. The process of getting the degree is your goal. When you believe that actually learning about all areas of business management from strategy to management accounting and 4Ps of marketing (ok there's 7Ps and 5Cs and many theories we could go on for days..) will be useful as you move up the corporate ladder and have bigger responsibilities.

But....

No, if your actual goal is only about walking up the stage on convocation day and holding a certificate stamped with your name that you later proudly include in your already long resume (primary school qualification, hobby, favourite color... Yes, I'm kidding). Or if you start marching into the boss's office demanding a promotion because you now know PnL actually means profit and loss, not the petite collection of Ralph Lauren.

There was a time when such qualifications did 'entitle' employees to some sort of extra allowance or better salary. I don't quite understand the rationale but I guess it was because such qualified employees were rare then (God I feel old!). But those days are gone.

I acquired mine many moons ago for none of the reasons above but just because I was offered a scholarship to study part time by my employer and well, everybody seemed to be doing it so why not. As icing on the cake, I knew most of the people who would be my course mates I thought it'd be fun. 

Now, studying while working full time and having a family was another thing altogether. It was tough because like everything else I get myself into, I want to do my best and there's just so much hours in a day to juggle everything. My course mates would smirk at this if they read this now because to them it looked like a breeze for me to a point I also had a baby (my third!) during that period. Haha. Super multi tasker eh? 

One of those days..

'Where I am' vs 'Where I'd like to be'

Yes, even as chairwoman. I'm human :)

Moral of the story:
Sometimes, try to see bosses and staff as normal human beings and not just as the boss or employee. It can lead to better understanding and working environment for both sides.

When in doubt go with food

Being Malaysians, we are diverse in our cultural roots and we respect that. However, more so in recent times, as so obviously seen and felt in platforms such as Facebook, there are things that continue to divide us, sadly instigated by many at times, with questionable motives.

But what I have seen unites Malaysians like nothing else is food (yes I hear you, except between Malaysia and Singapore. I even hear they claim Satay is from Singapore now.. Boo!)

We love our food. Doesn't matter which festivity we celebrate (and we do many), the food maketh the season.

And so I find this true in even the toughest business negotiation or conflict. The best way to diffuse a tension is to start a topic on food, and all's forgotten for awhile. The situation gets more relaxed and the understanding of the individuals you are dealing with improves. And things just magically get better even when you come out agreeing to disagree.

Try it when you need to and let me know.

This satay is mine!

Rubber stamp manager

The first time I heard the term 'rubber stamp management/manager' it was directed at me, pointing out a presumption I made which someone wasn't too happy about. Needless to say, it was a valuable lesson but I found humor in the term itself to never forget the incident..

You see, the most effective to way to build a positive, credible reputation at the workplace for ourselves is to consciously make a point to add value to the task we are required to deliver.

Ask ourselves. When something is in hand, are we adding value to it before the final output is delivered? or before it is passed on to the next person? or division? or (and especially..) the boss?!

If we feel our role in something is only a messenger, believe me that should be enough to be insecure about. It's too easy to become irrelevant and redundant from such a role.

I have seen others take it to the extreme. There are those who just declare it and walk out of meetings where they feel they can add no value. Asians are too polite to do this but I believe it is needed sometimes. Time is precious.

So, what is a rubber stamp manager/management and what has this got to do with it? Well, at any level and even more so when you're a boss, you must ensure you are adding value. 

Bosses are not there just to sign a.k.a 'rubber stamp' documents for approval (Most Malay TV drama series to this day portray bosses as doing just that! That is so 80s…). Nor as employees, we should expect our boss to not question us and that they should just approve our papers the moment we send it to them. 

And that was the lesson I learnt that day..many moons ago, when I was a young and eager executive (younger and more eager now :P). Having brought up a paper I presumed is a no-brainer at the last minute, only to find the boss had a view on it and needed time which I did not hide my frustration about. "We are not rubber stamp management" is what he said to me. Thank you DBO. I carry this with me to this day….

Picture courtesy of Google Images

Glass ceiling

Is there really one? Is there a maximum where a woman, a Malaysian woman can climb up the corporate Malaysia ladder? Are there jobs that are 'meant' only for men?

We are in an era where most companies, local or multinationals, voluntarily or if probed, would claim inclusiveness and being pro diversity. Whether they are true in practice, there are differing views. I think we can make our own conclusions on this. Actions speak louder than words.

What have I seen? My observation tells me that in considering a candidate for most jobs, competency, experience, attitude and potential are the primary considerations. I have not witnessed or heard a consideration being made for the candidate's gender that could influence the four aspects mentioned. 

However, there are jobs due to its nature (dangerous, far or in my case, where there are no commercial establishments *read malls*) tends to appeal less to women. There are jobs, like in some areas of sales where most interactions are known to be with men and therefore, a man who can hang out and have a cup of 'teh tarik' with the group would be better suited.

A friend once told me that in consulting companies, there are usually equal interest from both genders at the entry level but after a few years, the women tend to leave as the 'nomadic' lifestyle no longer fits their biological plans (the clock is real alright!) Hence, one would find most middle management positions in this business being held by men.

So what does this means to us women? I believe there is generally no limit to how high a Malaysian woman can climb the corporate ladder here. We see competent women CEOs around us managing big important organizations as proof it isn't impossible. And for the jobs we don't get, well they are not suited to our needs too and as long as we feel it is a choice we make, it seems perfectly ok to me.

Anyway, the best way to gain the most satisfaction is to put aside titles and positions, but to make sure you enjoy the journey.


Picture courtesy of Google Images

Choosing your battles

When you work for someone or some'body', be it a private owner or institutional shareholders i.e. when you work for a company, you are almost always dependent on others in some aspects of your job. Be it acceptance of your ideas, views, perspective or just simply, to get the other half of a job done and complete.

And there are days you will feel like:

a. pulling your hair

b. pulling the other person's hair

c. just leaving (and go shopping)

d. all of the above

Because, there are days when you feel people don't get you or what you're trying to make them see. When things just don't go your way.

And you feel like you want to charge head on and get your point across there and then. All fired up. Not just that, you want to insist on having things your way. 

But here is a thought. When I was young-er (ehem!), someone wise told me to learn to choose my battles. Over the years, I think the better term would be to learn to 'choose when to fight your battles'. As important as the when, is also the 'how'. 

Pause and think it over or perhaps bring it up at a different time. Sometimes, after giving it some thought, you will find other people's perspectives are not wrong too although it could have been opposite of yours..

Don't get me wrong, being open and transparent is good. Not accepting things as it is and pushing relentlessly for things to get through are admirable, sought after qualities in an employee *read extra points when you emphasize these qualities in an interview*. 

But there are many ways to resolve a conflict or to influence your views unto others. Best not 'charge ahead' all the time. Trust me, the reputation you gain will be the opposite of the 'sought after' attitude above.

On the other hand, as a boss I get impatient when there is too much 'redha-ness' i.e. acceptance for the way things are just because they are. Remember the familiar phrase of, "Ahhh…but it has always been that way". Don't go there (if you want to gain points in my interviews!)

Also, if you are part of a decision committee. State your views (all sides of it) and weigh the pros and cons during discussion but when a decision is made, honor the team spirit and support the decision. If you can't deal with this expectation, then you need to think about a career as your own boss. Then, it's different.

Confused yet? Perhaps you are..because it is situational. There is no template or framework of ways to react. It requires judgment of a situation and some understanding of the personality whom you are dealing with. I guess the trick is to balance and assess the best approach for handling every situation. There's also the saying, don't win battles but lose the war..

Feel like pulling your hair yet?

Picture courtesy of Google Images

Having fun

What a day. Started the morning performing a Grease musical. Yeah you read that right. Performing. As in singing and dancing. In a roomful of 200 people.

But I ain't quitting my day job for Broadway...not yet (p/s: talent agencies can contact me directly please :/)

Thereafter, it's serious business of course with our partners...but on occasions such as this we try to make sure we have fun too. Life is short, why be so serious :)

Eat your heart out Olivia!

Bosses do get bullied I tell ya....

When you can't find them, go where the food is...tsk tsk

At least someone got my opening speech

I can even get beauty tips from this bunch

Ok we actually mean business too!! 

Rhetoric

Good leader for good people. Most people want a good leader to lead them, most leaders want to lead good people. So which comes first? I don't know. This is not what I will elaborate on in this post but a good leader is certainly made up of many qualities. 

Effective leadership comes in many styles but there are common values we observe of inspiring ones and as someone I know, who is a reputable CEO puts it, one of them is;  

rhetoric

defined as:

1. the ability to use language effectively

2. the art of making persuasive speeches

3. the art of influencing the thought and conduct of an audience

4. the undue use of exaggeration or display

And looking around, I agree. When you are leading a team, your task is to deliver an outcome through a combination of individual acts, and to get everyone on board, you have to influence, clarify and sometimes even dramatize.

Use of analogies are also powerful. I 'grew up' in my career around a boss who was particularly good at this. Whilst I get the message much much more easily, I am also entertained by the humorous side of it.

Then you say, well not everyone can be a good speaker, communicator, whatever. Unfortunately, I find very few leadership roles where one can be 'minimumly' effective without the ability to be rhetorical. Maybe in specific task-based roles aka 'mandur' but in most cases, you will have to be able to communicate more than just 'do this, do that' to influence and motivate. 

The good news is, this is a skill that can be developed. Nobody is born with it.

"I have a dream"

Picture credits to kids.nationalgeographic.com

Work for the cause, not the boss

If you had to read the title twice, it's ok. This is something I too only figured out upon several observations and reflections throughout my journey.

Unlike entrepreneurs, employees like most of us seldom have the luxury of working on our true passion (or passions if you're restless like me). But, even in the concrete jungle and between the maze of cubicles, there are causes we can find our belief in.

Be it a cause to provide the best customer service

Or a cause to create the best work place

Notice a cause is never a small thing. Yes, not all of us have 'big important' tasks you may say, but it's not about how 'big' your title is or having your name plate on the door.. Everything we do in an organization is part of a bigger cause (well most of it, unless you are mafia - then again, even they can justify a cause). You just have to know what it is.

So, if you can, find one that you believe in. Because it makes getting up, going through 2 hour traffic jams 5 days a week, and just being in the rat race worth the while. 

But never work only for the boss. For many reasons. 

When you work for a cause, you will naturally have a principle. And that ensures your actions and decisions are consistent. When everything you do is centered around an individual, your actions will be inconsistent (and I say 'will' not 'may' as I have seen this too many times), because you are focused on pleasing the individual. 

And inconsistency is a bad habit that leads to poor leadership. There's a Malay word for this, 'lalang' i.e. tall weeds that sway in the direction of wherever the wind is blowing. Don't get me wrong..decisions can be changed, but for logical reasons.

And most important, as long as the boss is earning a monthly salary like you, who the boss is can change. And in situations, when there is a 'hostile' takeover (which happens!), your obvious allegiance to an individual and not your principles will not help you in the eyes of the new person. 

Then, there are bosses who expect loyalty above all else. And disagreeing to them equals disloyalty. That's unfortunate, more so for the boss because then all he / she will have around them are 'yes' men (or ladies), people who only think like them and that's a recipe for disaster..

Picture courtesy of Google Images

My preference as a boss? Loyalty is hoped, but not above all else. Most important is to align on the cause. There is nothing wrong to disagree or debate about the many options to achieve it.

So, when you're stuck in that traffic tomorrow, ask yourself this for a moment:

What's my cause or am I a lalang?

Parit (not the drain)

I was born in Ipoh but neither the city nor Perak is my home town so I had very few reasons to travel to Perak. It was either a pass by to Penang or Lumut or Pangkor and sometimes Tg Malim for Yik Mun pau (steamed buns filled with delicious goodness like chicken and sweet coconut cream)

However in February last year fate had it that Perak and I would be so closely acquainted. We accepted admission for one half of my twin sons to attend MRSM Parit (IGCSE College). Parit is about a 2.5 hours drive from KL (at speed limit) but with my driving, at the non approval of my dear speed-compliant husband, we are always there much sooner (I won't say how much sooner just in case the police are reading this). Via the north bound PLUS highway you would exit Gopeng and from there, another 30 minutes on trunk roads to the small town of Parit. You could choose to pass through Bandar Seri Iskandar which is fast developing as there are education institutions like Petronas Technology University and a branch of UITM. 

Parit is a small town. One traffic light. One petrol station. A mini clock tower at its center and a few rows of shophouses, mainly moms and pops selling your everyday groceries. It's a town that feels like everybody knows everyone. So on weekends we visit, which is every other weekend *read often* we are almost desperate to find new spots to explore around Perak.

So far, we have explored Ipoh, Kuala Kangsar and gone as far as Penang during these weekends. But today particularly, we decided to stay around Parit and here's the story..

There are too few places to eat and so we played it safe and drove to Seri Iskandar for the familiar taste of Chicken Rice Shop (new outlet at the new Billion Mall). Thereafter, we decided to rent a room at the rest house back in Parit called Rumah Rehat Cempaka Sari. It is located by the wide, murky and very calm Sg Perak.

The room is basic. Bed is basic. TV is basic. Everything is basic but clean. I can't complain, it is RM70 per night (no day rates and check-in is fast). I can't say it is as clean outside. There is an indoor event hall and an outdoor event area facing the river. There are a few gazebos lined by the river but the path leading to them and the gazebo itself looks unkempt. You could see litters of food leftovers and plastic bags around. Cracked and broken concrete benches. Trash bins laying flat on the ground. Wild bushes and trees surrounding walkways. 

Typical Malaysia I must say. I am Malaysian so I think I have the right to criticize my country. We always make elaborate starts but never the same drive to see it through to the finish. The term 'hangat hangat tahi ayam' comes to mind. Maintenance is a concept that seems hard to grasp or never thought of when we begin a project. I am generalizing but this is so common I'm sure most of you agree.

Here are some pictures of the best scenes I could get. Deliberately did not take the ugly ones. Not worth the time.

Shutting down

So I get asked this question a lot. "How do you manage everything?"

It may be disappointing to those expecting that I have the formula all worked out in a list I post on my fridge and look at everyday, but no..there is no formula, there is no right way

It's a combination of many things that I hope this blog, in every topic I write about will enlighten you. 

It's a concoction of choices I make as I live my life everyday. Many many wrong choices but the few right ones make it all worthwhile. I guess the most important is self awareness.. being aware and acknowledging the mistakes you made and learning from it, the things that went right and being grateful for them. But this requires one to pause, think and do some reflection of our life constantly (best time is after prayers I tell ya, so you immediately ask for forgiveness too. 2 in 1!)

I must say I only became more conscious of the importance to 'shut down' after going through a life changing moment that changed my perspective about jobs and employers.. (I'll blog about that some other time). Some also refer shutting down to 'being present' wholly and not just physically. This balance, to totally enjoy after work hours and weekends has now become very important to me and I am bothered when I can't have it (though I admit I still can do better to balance between 'me' time and everything else during these leisure hours..those celebrity and personal shopper IGs are hard to ignore!) 

some of whom and what I shut down for 

I still haven't perfected 'shutting down'. Especially when, as I walk into my house, I get an email that seems to have had 200 discussion trails and 80 people in the list (ok I am exaggerating but you get the point). Those things bother me. Stop discussing it and start doing something about it already will you!! In those situations, I would still be glued to my email at home until the matter is resolved completely, ignoring the people and everything around me. Whilst I am grateful for understanding husband, children and family, I know I should not take it for granted.

Ok time stop blogging and be a good wife now.... (I know my husband reads this) 

Have a good weekend folks!