Lady Boss

It's annoying to be called Lady Boss. I admit. There are few that do call me that and I'm pretty sure they do not come with bad intentions, but still, very annoying. I can almost feel my eyebrow twitch when I hear it.

I spent some time thinking about this and wondered why two simple words can be so irritating.

As a woman and as a boss, one thing I feel we are constantly managing is the prejudice that has always been there ever since I walked into a company as an employee. 

That women bosses are:

bossy

emotional (as if PMS is the root cause of all our problems..)

moody

micro-managers

basically....your living nightmare.

Picture courtesy of Google Images

Concious of this prejudice, we try to (well at least I do) not be the kind of boss that can be generalized into those categories..and I guess when I get called that, it reminds me of this prejudice.

Heck, some days I can be all of that but I have seen men bosses who are all of that too but somehow they are not subjected to the same prejudice. We are human, we have issues that some days makes us bossy, emotional and moody (I have thought of hanging a skull at my door for those days - I think my staff would appreciate that)....

But they're not because I was born a woman! (sometimes they're caused by men but that deserves another posting altogether...yes I see you ladies nodding there)

As for micro managing, I believe it really is about timing. At different points of your task as a leader you apply different levels of management. In situations where you need to drive change and transformation, you may be pressing down the throttle harder looking through your microscopic lens but as things are headed in the right path, you begin to take your foot off the paddle and look over panoramic lens. It just depends on where you are in that journey.

Although I admit knowing of bosses who are women AND who seem to be living up to that prejudice everyday. To her staff, good luck. To the men dealing with her, just compliment her dress once in awhile ya (whatever you do, DO NOT ask if she is pregnant!)

Now you have a degree..so what?

So, I haven't written for awhile (4 days to be exact). After the holiday intervals from December through January, things are now really moving at work. The current festive period is also a time of a lot of after hours Lou Sang celebrations. Hence, late nights. Whilst the waistline is suffering, these occasions are a good time to meet old acquaintances and meet new people. In my line of duty, this is important.

I'm in sales and marketing. Have been for at least two thirds of my career. And how did I end up here? What choices (or missteps..) I made along the way and how can you make your choices too?

Let's rewind a few (ok ok...many) years back..

Apparently, when I was asked the classic high school year book question of what is your ambition, I said Engineer. I don't recall why or if I had too much 'air rakyat' (classic boarding school drink of sugared water and colouring) to drink that day but yeah, it says 'Engineer' in my yearbook (don't mind the hair if you ever see that picture...the perm WAS in I tell ya..)

I was also one of the lucky few who was offered many options of college education. My shortlist was a medical degree in UM or an Engineering degree and the opportunity to study overseas. Guess which I chose.. Of course not Engineering, but the opportunity to live overseas. Haha. (blame the teenage hormones)

And that was how it was. I must say very few things about Engineering interest me (except the very good looking professor in Dynamics class). So fast forward, I finished it because I just didn't want to fail all the people who were always praying for the best for me (ok ok and also to avoid my scholarship giver from breathing down my neck..)

When it was time to start facing the real world and earning my own moolah, I was also then fortunate to be given the opportunity to choose which department I wanted to start with. Simple answer.."anywhere but the exchange" (yes those old telecom buildings that don't seem to have windows). It was not really about the place or people but I realised by then, Engineering and me was never meant to be..

So I started my career in sales although the technical part of sales. That gave me the opportunity to use what I have formally been educated in as well as a completely new area of sales and marketing.This is what I conclude. Starting your career in sales department has a lot of advantage. It is the fastest place to learn about the market, the business, the process and people in the company. Being in the frontline forces you to understand the customer and most times, turn back and look inside every nook and corner of the company, especially when you're trying to solve a problem. I believe no one in any other department would get that chance to do so.

Don't get me wrong, sales is tough. But when you're young and starting out *read eager and naive*, you're forgiven for many things so best face your challenges early on. What doesn't kill you does make you stronger!

So far so good

Day 5

Oxy vs Fresh

So far so good. No allergic reactions.

And I smell like rose 

Turkey tales [Part 1]

No it's not November yet. But since it's a Friday, I thought I'd keep it light and write about my travel to Istanbul.

It all started with the Enrich promotion and as I looked at the list of countries on offer, Istanbul caught my eye. Of course after having watched the movie Istanbul Aku Datang, the city intrigued me (yeah I am cliche like that…at times)

The irony was we ended up paying almost full price for the tickets as I had to reschedule the trip due to work commitments (I should write about this 'sacrificial' work-moments one day)

But we finally went and I think the timing was actually perfect. It was the period of Eid Adha celebrations and the weather was cool at an average of 15C. And it also coincided with my wedding anniversary, so it was a bonus (for my husband) because my present came duty-free…. (see…sometimes you gain something better in return for some sacrifice)

beautiful Bosphorus

Like all other trips I like to plan my own itinerary. As usual, I did research (a lot of) on how to plan my days there, local tips, where to eat..all you can think of, including which tourist traps to avoid.

And for the first time I tried using AirBnb to book my accommodation. I super love the experience and with careful research (I did say 'a lot' didn't I), I found this perfect apartment. I was somewhat nervous and hoped that the internet pictures didn't fool me (remembering the scene where Lisa had to drag her bag up the stairs). I can't possibly do that with how much luggage I had (I am no light packer. I need to have my shoes for sightseeing, shoes for dinner and you know...shoes in case I 'feel' like jogging)

the view from the apartment - Sultanahmet where Aya Sofia is

floor to ceiling glass windows

where I even cooked 'sambal sardin'

I am never doing mainstream hotel again wherever I can find a good place with Airbnb. And looking at their latest listings, I might rent a tree house next!

Are you going or leaving..?

Taken today as I attended a funeral at the Bukit Kiara cemetery (Al Fatihah). No I am not writing about death or the after life but there is some relevance..of which I'll come back to.

Three years ago I was at a cross roads, of whether I should stay at a company I've worked for 14 years or make a move. It was not an easy decision. There were so many things to consider. Even when I did my usual list of upsides and downsides in my head, I had to put weightage on each item! Naturally, I spoke to many for their advice. 

And one of them asked me…"Are you going or are you leaving?"

I paused. 

See, this guy is your typical Cambridge graduate with a high flying international career and excellent track record. Smart and intelligent. I am always amazed at how his mind works but his slightly nerdish ways never made me feel uncomfortable with the level of intelligence he possessed. He is a cool friend to have (calm down, it's not Stephen Hawking). I thought, ok this was maybe a high IQ question I don't get. 

So I asked, what do you mean am I going or leaving??

And this was the explanation.

Look at the reasons of making the move. Are they because of the things you want to achieve and acquire from the new place (which means you're GOING) or are they because they are driven by things/situations/people in your existing place (which means you're LEAVING). 

Bam! One simple question that simplified the list in my head (which by then had grown to be a cobweb of decision tree…)

If you're deciding whether you should make a move, a better reason to do it is because you're going and not because you're leaving. 

And as I looked at the rows and rows of reserved cemetery space today, I remembered my friend and his question. I believe it also applies to making our everyday choices on how we live our lives..

Are we living as if we're going or leaving…?

Gen Y for the Gen X

I believe I am a borderline Gen X, according to Wiki by the year I was born and according to traits I read about Gen X-ers. We are gorgeous, lovable and simply fabulous. No. Ok I lied. That is what my mirror tells me everyday :P

Anyway, a big part of the team I work with for the past 5 to 6 years have been Gen Ys. And there have been a lot of discussions in HR and Management communities in recent years on managing Gen Ys for Gen X *read old* bosses like yours truly. 

But, my best insights come from actually opening myself to engage with them and observe their perspective on things.

And all that talk about us being different, I must say is mostly true. But the point is, to embrace the differences and capitalize on understanding and using these traits to motivate them.

Things like they have to believe in the cause of doing anything so explain the context of your strategy or assignment to them. The why and not just the what. 

They are opinionated so use them when you need honest feedback. 

They like visibility and recognition so give them praise, celebrate their wins and get them involved. 

They appreciate regular feedback, so point out clearly when they need to improve.

They're respect must be earned and doesn't come from authority or positions, so stay on your toes boss!

They 'work to live' not 'live to work' so respect their need for work life balance, as long as they are delivering. You'll get the best out of them.

And...this is in no way related to maturity. Over the years I have found maturity is not necessarily a factor of age but more a function of what gets thrown to you in life but that's a topic best left for another day.

Do good looks matter..?

Ok here's an almost controversial one. I am sure this has crossed your mind at some point or you have experienced moments that make you wonder..

Do good looks matter to get ahead?

This post would not be applicable for those in the beauty line, creative arts or if your job involves insuring any parts of your body. It's a question for the 9-5 employee in most industries working our way up the 'food' chain.

Here are my observations:

• It doesn't matter but helps, provided there is substance
• Looking neat and groomed does matter. It's psychological and appeals to the reasoning capability of the human mind. If you made an effort to 'take care' of yourself, it most probably will reflect how you treat tasks given to you or for a customer, the business they give you
• If it seems to be the ONLY thing that matters, you probably need to reconsider if you're in the right place

And if you have it but misuse it, trust me, you will make no one proud except maybe yourself.

Let me know what you think.